Love Languages

Viewing 4 reply threads
  • Author
    • #11608
      Ashley Hicke

        I have noticed recently that my partner and I have very different ways in which we both express and hope to receive love. Has anyone dealt with this same issue, and what did you do to overcome these differences in love languages?

      • #11702
        Tai Adhikary

          Hi Ashley,

          I think being really open in communication about it helps (being super honest). Ie) For me to feel fulfilled in a relationship, I really value quality time and deep conversations. Do you think we could maybe do that over coffee in the mornings? I’ve noticed you love it when I do the dishes without being asked (or other act of service if that’s their love language), I am going to try and be better at that too. Paying attention to how they express their love for you might be the way in which to return it but also having them understand the way you receive love is important and being clear about it so that they can express affection for you too. I think it really helps the other person feel seen or understood. I hope that helps!

        • #11710

            I agree with Tai, For me the best way was to watch him and see how he expressed love to me then try to use that to show him love. I also didn’t expect him to know my love language without telling him. I brought it up in casual conversation about the things that made me feel loved and asked him directly what I could do/say that would help him feel loved and respected.

          • #11716
            Gillian Teepe

              One of the biggest issues I’ve both seen in others and within my own relationships is feeling underappreciated due to different love languages. For example, say one partner’s language is acts of service and the other partner’s is words of affirmation. The second partner may become insecure because their partner doesn’t tell them they love them as often as they wish, or doesn’t surprise them with sweet texts/cards. This can easily frustrate the other partner who believes they shouldn’t need to do those to “prove their love”, when they keep the house clean for the both of them, take extra care of the pets, and do all the grocery shopping.

              Both sides are overlooking how the other shows/wants to be shown love, which is why it’s so important to communicate these things. And, especially to communicate them outside of arguments. My current boyfriend and I have different love languages (words of affirmation and physical touch), and we very regularly touch base with each other on this. We have a conversation every two-or-so weeks about what we’ve appreciated from the other person, what ways we’ve made each other feel loved and secure, but also areas we can both improve. It helps us know what works for the other person best, and not have to just guess everything. It keeps us from having arguments/issues like given in the example, which can truly tear apart a relationship.

            • #11822
              Aimee Buchanan

                The biggest thing in any relationship is communication. It can solve problems just as easily as miscommunication can create them. Being open and honest with your partner about what you’re feeling and what works best for you is the best way to navigate differences.

            Viewing 4 reply threads
            • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.